TALL TALES AND BALD FACED LIES – Major General Rajiv Edwards, VSM (Retd)
TALL TALES AND BALD FACED LIES
Major General Rajiv Edwards, VSM (retd)
Mark Twain in his famous satirical essay ‘On Telling Lies’, states that if we were to tell the absolute, unfiltered truth for a single day, the human race would be entirely wiped out by mutual destruction. There is scientific consensus that human beings are hard wired to lie and, the onset of lying in the early years is a significant milestone in cognitive growth. A study by the social psychologist Robert Feldman has unraveled that, ‘60 percent of people lie at least once during a 10 minute conversation, telling an average of 2-3 lies.’
The Bible describes Satan (devil) as the ‘father of lies’…. famous also for telling the ‘first lie’, when disguised as a serpent he deceived Eve in the Garden of Eden, ‘You will not surely die,’ directly contradicting God’s warning about eating the forbidden fruit. The same humble fruit, whose infamous reputation was finally redeemed in Wales in the 1860s, with the famous health jingle …. ‘an ‘apple’ a day keeps the doctor away!’ Theological narratives apart, today, on the earthly plane, there appears to be stiff competition to unseat Bernie Madoff (the ‘ponzi king’), as the ‘ultimate liar’!!
‘A mistake is an accident, cheating and lying are not mistakes –they are intentional choices’…a defense mechanism and shortcut to have one’s own way. The scope and spectrum of lies is boundless… white/black/red lies, bold faced lies, lies of omission, commission, minimization, exaggeration, fabrication, deception, and compulsive or pathological lies…and then there are the liars, occasional, defensive, manipulative, smooth, compulsive, occupational and in addition the ‘algebra liars’, who rationalize that two good lies make a positive!! Furthermore, based on the specific goal and target profiling, the fibber may ‘lie like a rug or lie through his teeth’, ‘lead you down the garden path or to a merry dance’, ‘pull a fast one’, ‘feed you a line’, ‘blow smoke’, ‘take you for a ride or to the cleaners’, ‘pull wool over your eyes’, ‘spit in your eyes’, ‘feed you a lie’, ‘spin a yarn’ or ‘speak with a forked tongue!’
Telling lies requires a high level of skill. Dr. Gregory House (played by Hugh Laurie) in the hit medical drama series HOUSE, M.D, nails it as an intricate, highly demanding art form that, ‘requires the memory of a chess grandmaster, the improvisation of an unhinged jazz musician and an absolutely shameless dedication to the craft.’
Clinically, occasional lying can be a basic survival coping tactic, however habitual and remorseless lying can be a sign of deeper personality disorders. Chronic untruthfulness is known to cause physiological changes, hormonal and neurological strain and other long term health issues including cardiovascular damage, immune system weakness and disrupted sleep patterns. ‘Honesty doesn’t always pay, but dishonesty always costs’!
Author Robert Greene suggests that telling the truth at all times is a ‘recipe for social suicide.’ Some lies are fully baked into our daily routines and accepted as ‘normal’. These may manifest as polite social grease like ‘I am on my way’/‘I will just come’/I will call you right back’/‘I’ll try my best to come’; the familiar minimization lie, ‘I had only one drink’; face saving lies, ‘My phone was dead’/‘I got late due to traffic’/‘I couldn’t come due to a bad tummy’; the universal lie of procrastination, ‘I’ll start working out/dieting from tomorrow‘; and the mother of all lies, ‘I am not a liar’!!!
Detecting a lie is incredibly challenging; mercifully, neither of us is ‘Pinocchio’, whose nose magically increased whenever he lied…nor are a liar’s pants ever set on fire….(the untruth of the old school taunt, ‘liar liar pants on fire’)! Body language and mannerisms can be a giveaway. However, on social media deception has largely become an engineered and automated methodology of public manipulation…a precision guided weapon which thrives on the ‘buttons’ and biases of the masses….and it can be quick! Winston Churchill aptly stated that, ‘a lie gets half way around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.’ Unfortunately, most people either don’t have the mental bandwidth or want to bear the cognitive load (mental energy) to find the truth, despite the fact that diverse fact checking tools are easily accessible. Not surprisingly, many end up as ‘sheeples’ alias the ‘flock.’ Apparently, social media is the ultimate accelerator of gullibility!
BTW, the ‘World’s Biggest Liar’ is an annual competition for telling lies, held in Cumbria, England. And, not surprisingly, politicians and lawyers are barred from participation…..because, they are ‘judged to be too skilled at telling porkies’ (British slang for lie). That is rather unfortunate, for otherwise the world would have had an undisputed winner. (Choosing to withhold the name of the individual may well count as a lie of omission) … unless one wants to DIY…, ‘Melody khao khud jaan jao’ (eat a ‘melody’ and find out for yourself)!
A Requiem to The Naked Truth
(19th Century Legend)
The Lie said to the Truth –
‘Let’s take a bath together, the water is very nice.’
The Truth, still suspicious, tested the water and found out
it really was nice. So they got naked and bathed.
But, suddenly, the Lie leapt out of the water and fled, wearing the clothes of the Truth.
The Truth, furious, climbed out of the well to get her clothes back.
But the world, upon seeing the naked Truth, looked away, with anger and contempt.
Poor Truth returned to the well and disappeared forever, hiding her shame.
Since then, the lie runs around the world, dressed in Truth, and society is very happy.
Because the world has no desire to know the naked Truth.’
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(Major General Rajiv Edwards, VSM** (retd) is a historical researcher and commentator on societal issues. He is apolitical. Views expressed are personal. He does not claim to be ‘Mamad’, the legendary wise man, who is fabled to have never told a lie!)
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